A Breath Of Fresh Sebastian
by Agatha-Naomi
Summary: After being dragged to a smoky club by his idiot friend, Ciel has an asthma attack and passes out in the men's room. He wakes up in the hospital with no memory of who took him there, and the need to find the perfect stranger who saved his life is so overwhelming that he starts wondering why he even cares so much. AU. SebbyCiel fluffy goodness.
1. Chapter 1

A Breath of Fresh Sebastian

AN: SebbyCiel fluff, anyone? I'm going to write cute things and pretend that my life does not in fact currently suck and blow :D

The club itself was on the small side, and while Ciel found the pounding music somewhat of a nuisance, the place had relatively cheap drinks, and he hadn't been out for awhile because of midterms. Maybe if he socialized just a tiny bit, Alois would stop threatening to sign him up for online dating.

He noted the rainbow flag with irritation, but not surprise. While he would like to think that Alois would simply take him to a gay bar for the atmosphere, he knew it was just another little dig at the fact that Ciel was supposedly in the closet.

Honestly, watch a short little snippet on redtube of two guys doing things, and you're gay. It was curiousity, nothing more. Why the hell did Alois feel the need to browse his history anyways? Honestly, he should have the little twat arrested for spying. It was embarrassing enough to succumb to the need to look at such trash anyways, without your almost friend judging your tastes.

That's what Alois was, although he claimed to be Ciel's closest and most trusted friend, he was more or less a person that came into his tiny studio apartment a few times a week in order to eat his food and tell him how to live his life. Granted, seeing as Ciel had very few friends, he learned to tolerate the people who were willing to put up with his sometimes foul moods. He knew he was arrogant and cynical at times, and not the easiest friend really to spend time with. Soma, Lizzie, and Alois were all obnoxious, but if they wanted to crash on his couch and eat pizza while he tried to finish his schoolwork, he was hard pressed to complain. A small part of him sometimes enjoyed the company, but he'd be damned if he ever let them know it!

"See? It's tiny in here, but look at the crowd? The sound system is really good too." Alois spun in a rather gay circle, spinning his rather gay clothes around with a flourish and smiling a rather gay smile.

"You…. You're gay."

"Pot calling the kettle black." Alois clucked his tongue at his joke and darted further into the labyrinth on all things rainbow and Ciel started after him.

Ciel manuvered through the maze of laser lights and drunken dancers and tried to find his stupid almost friend, so that maybe he could land a nice punch on that stupid blonde head, but alas, Alois was rather short and all the people seemed to hide him quite nicely.

Ciel scowled violently when he realized that he had just called Alois short when his friend was in fact a few good inches taller than him, but he was distracted by a smell.

Why on earth would a club allow its patrons to smoke on the dance floor? A lot of restaurants even banned it altogether or at least made an area for it. Ciel noted grimly that a lot of the swaying and grinding dancers had cigarettes in hand, and in one instance he even spotted an Asian man and his rather scantily clad girlfriend swaying gently while he was holding onto what could only be a crack pipe.

Just what the hell kind of place did Alois take him to? His anger was cut short by a tickle in his throat, which while minor to other people, was a slight concern to Ciel. He had to deal with not only the embarrassment of being 5'5" as a twenty two year man, but the privilege of having lungs that were riddled with asthma. He fumbled in his pockets for his inhaler, but did not find it. He glanced around and saw it lying on the dance floor, obviously from falling out of his pocket. Damn these skinny jeans Alois had forced upon him, pockets were too damn small to hold anything!

He would just have to go and get it then. He turned in the direction of the inhaler and the next comical, but ultimately damning moment happened in slow motion.

One of the taller drag queens, who looked rather comical (who wears glasses with chains, who wears that much red?) stomped his foot to the beat and brought one stiletto clad foot crashing down on the inhaler.

Rushing over to see the damage, he notes the cracked plastic, the precious medicine leaking out onto the grimy floor, and Ciel knows he's screwed. The inhaler is useless now, he doesn't have another one, and the smoke is really starting to get to him. He can feel an attack coming on, and the thought of being without his inhaler in a smoke filled club starts to make him panic. Trying to relax, because panic with make his chest muscle clench up more, he makes his way into the bathroom in the hopes that cold water will help.

A man with a cold expression and golden eyes is smoking a cigarette by the sink and he raises his eyes above his glasses at Ciel when the young man yells at him to take his cancer stick and leave. Once alone, Ciel clamors to the sink and splashes water on his face. His breath starts to come in loud coughs, and then harsh little wheezes, and he wonders if maybe someone else here in the club tonight that has asthma and maybe they'll let him borrow one of theirs. As soon as he gets up to look for a savior, his lungs protest from the movement, and he slumps facedown into the cracked tile.

With every struggled gasp, he feels the panic he was trying to avoid sinking in, and he wonders if he's really going to die, a straight man in a gay bar, because a drag queen in silly glasses stepped on his inhaler.

Well, maybe he was bicurious, but that didn't matter as his lungs heaved and his palms started to sweat, and the dirty men's room started to fade from sight as everything went black.

Before he fully lost consciousness, he felt a hand groping at his wallet in his jeans, and he is reminded again of how cruel the world is that a pickpocket will steal from someone more of less choking on their own spit. The pickpocket addresses him from above a haze of panic and pain.

"I am not a thief, I assure you, but I'm assuming the ambulance will need your name at the very least. Please allow me to check your ID. I'm sure they'll be here for you shortly."

The British accent is somewhat charming and with that observation, Ciel feels consciousness leave him.

AN: Le gasp! Haha asthma pun. I'm going to hell aren't I? XD


	2. Chapter 2

A Breath Of Fresh Sebastian

AN: I have a lot going on right now. I'm working on problems with my boyfriend, my best friend, and my parents. I have to get a third job, and move again for the third time in 5 months. I knew my roommate had a temper, but I didn't realize she was crazy and mean. It even got physical, and my dad has to come with me to get my stuff because she's been threatening to trash my room while I'm at my sister's house. When I saw all the people who had followed or reviewed this story, I got all excited thinking about writing more. I hope you all know how awesome you are for making me happy.

His hands felt tingly and numb, so he adjusted them, and relaxed back into the cot. The sheets made a scratchy sound when he wiggled his tired toes. Hospital sheets always had too much starch in them. Mismatched eyes flew open. He was in the hospital? How in the blazes did he get here?

"Now, now, you're fine. Don't worry now. Don't you remember being brought here? Had quite an asthma attack, you did." The nurse checked his oxygen mask, his vitals, and marked several things on the clipboard. Her hair was bright red, obviously dyed and pulled into pigtails, and her glasses were so thick he couldn't see her eyes. She seemed to have trouble maneuvering in the small room and Ciel wondered darkly if she had ever tripped over an IV and killed someone.

The klutz of a woman was nice enough to remove his oxygen mask when he pulled at it.

"I don't remember how I got here." His voice sounds raspy and he hates it, but he supposes it was just a really bad attack.

"Somebody found you in the men's room, called an ambulance. He was a handsome one too! Nice as well, paid for a cab for your drunk friend since you weren't there to drive him home, even settled the tab at the bar."

"What did he look like? Did he say he had any relation to me or Alois?" Ciel had always thought that there was a motive in everything. Nobody would save someone just because they could.

The woman blushed and tittered.

"He said he just found you. He was handsome, like I said. So handsome, that I don't think words will do him justice!" She seems to go off into a fantasy, as she blushes harder and her eyes glaze over.

"Describe him anyways! I need to know who…." Ciel breaks off into violent coughs and she replaces the oxygen mask quickly, and even though his lungs feel relief, he glares daggers at the stupid woman.

"He was just a kind stranger. Things like this do happen. Please have some rest. We will discharge you around noon, yes we will." And with that, he is alone once more with his thoughts.

Ciel looks around the room and notices flowers on the small nightstand. The arrangement was simple enough with dark blue roses and sprigs of lavender. He thinks nothing of it until he realizes that those are the colors of his eyes. It was rare to have lavender eyes, although was it Elizabeth Taylor or something, she had had them. Still, having two different colors was rare too, and Ciel happened to have been born with a lavender eye and a blue eye. He had never thought much of it, but he was wondering who would do something as personal as send flowers in those colors. Was it some sort of compliment, or did they find them strange?

He takes off the mask without permission and leans over the bed to read the note on the vase.

_I apologize for making you think I was a pickpocket of all things, but I can assure you, that I took nothing from your wallet. I called a cab for your companion, and while he was rather drunk, he did try and insist on riding in the ambulance with you. I'm afraid they did not let him, due to your unstable condition. An acquaintance of mine thinks he may have stepped on your inhaler, because he found one broken near his feet. As an apology for my friend's error, I have taken the liberty of paying for your medical expenses. Please recover quickly and try to find jeans with real pockets, even if the ones you were wearing last night suited you. _

_ S.M._

Did the man just hit on him? Ciel seethed and crumpled the letter before smoothing it back out. It was evidence after all. Who did this man think he was, taking so much liberty with him? He didn't even bloody know him, but here he was paying his bills and calling cabs for his friends….

Friends.

Alois would recognize this man. Ciel could ask him about it. He would find that man and demand that he let Ciel pay for his own bills. He may not have a lot of money as a student, but paying for a cab and a hospital visit was too generous for a stranger. He wouldn't even call it generosity, it was arrogance. This man was trying to sweep him off his feet with shows of wealth and kindness, and nobody swept Ciel off of his feet. Nobody. He wasn't celibate for no reason.

Ciel clenches his fists and pushes that particular thought away. Thinking about his last stay in the hospital made him miserable, so why dwell on it? Once something was gone, it was gone, whether you wanted it back or not.

He looks at the flowers again. Nobody had gotten him flowers then. He had talked to social workers, and detectives, and had nurses come in to stitch him up in places he didn't really like touched, but no flowers, no, no flowers at all.

Ciel pulls one lovely blue rose from the vase and twirls the bloom, examining it. The florist had even taken the time to remove the thorns so that nothing could cut his hands. It was beautiful, lovely, perfect.

A tiny hand clenched around the head of the rose until the bud popped off and petals scattered all over the pristine hospital room.

If this man had some sort of reason for saving him, Ciel would find him and hear it. He didn't like owing his life to someone, didn't like people spending a great deal of money on him. If this S.M. wanted to charm him with kindness, then he was in for a sorry surprise. Because real roses have thorns, and thorns are there for a reason.

Ciel turns around on the cot, facing away from the flowers. A small part of him he doesn't like very much at all, thinks that they are pretty.

As with every other unwanted though he has, he squashes it to the very back of his mind and goes back to sleep.

He would find this S.M and he would have answers. He swore it.

AN: I made Ciel 22 in this, so he's legal to drink. I love young Ciel, but writing him as a young adult seems interesting : D


	3. Chapter 3

A Breath Of Fresh Sebastian

AN: I have such nice reviews in my inbox :D I figured I'd write since I can't sleep. I am on the sofa until the painting is done, and my pet bunnies make a surprising amount of noise at night. Idk if they're running around, or fighting, or mating, or whatever, but I've been hearing some weird shit at night XD

After being given the all clear to vacate the hospital, Ciel made his way to the pharmacy with prescription in hand. He hated the fact that he had to get a new inhaler, because he didn't have insurance right now, and although the inhaler was a lifesaver (when intact) it was rather pricey.

He clenched his credit card and wished he could pay with cash. It was a bad financial move to use his credit card, because his job paid his rent and not much else. He tried to avoid charging all that much to the card. He knew some people that have really ruined their lives with debt. He could only go to college because his grades were good, and he had gotten a scholarship when he had graduated from high school. Still, there wasn't much choice in the matter. He'd rather be broke than dead.

Ciel hands the woman his credit card, and she gives him a rather curious look.

"Do you not take credit cards? I might have some cash."

"It's already paid for. Don't you remember? Your friend came in and prepaid it so you could pick it up." She hands him the medicine, and stunned, Ciel takes it and starts walking towards the exit.

He unwraps it from the brown bag and looks at the receipt.

The line where the medicine's receipt calls for a signature only holds initials.

S.M.

Ciel rushes home frantically and he has to make himself calm down so that his hands will turn the doorknob. Alois must have used the spare key that he had bullied Ciel into giving him, because he's sitting on Ciel's couch when the young man comes home.

"You walked here? I could have come to meet you."

Ciel starts his interrogation all at once. He wants answers, damn it!

"Dude, calm down. Have a slice." Alois gestures at the pizza on the side table, and Ciel shoves the box aside and continues firing questions at his friend.

Alois sighs. "I was really drunk. I don't remember much. Just, why do you wanna know so badly for, anyways? You'll probably never see him again."

"That's exactly why! I don't want someone I don't know in my debt! I want to know why he would save me, if he doesn't know me!" Ciel huffs.

"Well, he was tall, dark hair. He was really hot too, but I could have just had beer googles on. Also…" Alois darts into the other room and comes back with a trench coat of all things.

"I was cold, and he said I could wear it home."

"How are you going to find him again to return it? I'm not going back to that smoke filled cesspool!" Ciel stomps his foot and feels like choking his friend when the shithead giggles.

"He said he had another coat at home. I asked if he wanted to give me his number, so that I could call him once you were out of the hospital, ya know get a beer, give the coat back, but he said no, he had done what he needed to do. Told me to keep the coat." Alois drapes the coat over himself like a cape, and smiles childishly, but Ciel's mind is racing.

"Done what he needed to do? Why on earth should my safety concern him to the point he's compelled to take an action? I don't bloody know this man!"

"Maybe he knows you from somewhere, and you just don't remember him. Or maybe, he just is a decent person, and doesn't want to see someone die like that." Alois folds the coat haphazardly and drapes it on the back of the sofa.

Ciel sighs and presses his hands to his tired eyes. He hates to admit it, but this whole being saved by a stranger thing, was somewhat of an insult to his pride. Plus... well, he hated admitting this too, but almost dying and feeling ill enough to have to be hospitalized was rather distressing in itself. He hadn't been seriously hurt or injured since...

No. He wasn't going to think about that. Those days were gone, they didn't affect him anymore. At least they didn't, as long as he didn't focus on them.

Frustrated and irritated, Ciel promptly threw Alois out of the apartment, claiming he needed rest. The blonde takes care to take the box of pizza before he leaves. It figures, that glutton! Once alone, Ciel strips down almost angrily, and hops into the shower. He smelled like hospital disinfectant. He hated that smell.

It was the smell of chemicals strong enough to mask the stench of blood, and death, and sickness. It reminded him of those damn roses, thorns taken off because it was supposedly better that way. Why can't people realize that life is simply unpleasant? People hurt each other, they cheated, they lied, and heavy perfumes and thorn free roses didn't fool anyone. There was no point in putting on a smile, or a brave face, because ultimately in the end, human suffering and cruelty knew no limits.

He traces a mark on his body, a burn that nobody but he and the doctors have seen, and shuts the water off. He dries off his hair and body as fast as he can and throws a loose shirt on, feeling very naked all of a sudden. He didn't want to think about that. He knew he was contradicting himself by saying there was no need to cover up unpleasant feelings, when he himself was running from his own past, but he simply didn't know what else to do.

Ciel flops down on the bed and gazes up at the ceiling.

He had been a friend of the family, and he had been a nice man. A decent man. Sometimes. Usually. When others were around. He used to babysit Ciel when his parents were at work.

He had cooked him meals, he had played chess with him, and read to him until he fell asleep.

The abuse started around Ciel's tenth birthday. He had told no one, because he didn't know how to describe it, too innocent to know what was truly happening or why, and really confused as to why a person would want to touch him in those places at all. However he knew it always hurt and he started to feel embarrassed about it, so he had told his Aunt in a moment of desperation.

What had happened to her, happened to his parents, happened to the dog, to his body, it was all his fault. He never should have told.

Ciel scrubs his wet cheeks and nose and tells himself that he has no right to cry over something he caused anyways. He knew Alois was right. He had only ever thought about men in a sexual way, and he didn't know if that was because he had only ever been with a man, or if he was just sick enough to be gay despite the abuse.

Someone was knocking on the door, and he drags himself up tiredly to answer it. A delivery man stood with a vase of flowers, and Ciel signed for them without thinking too much about it.

_I went to ask the nurses how you were, but I was informed that you had already left. I was saddened that you had not taken my flowers with you. Do you not like the arrangement? I very much like those colors together, and I hoped you would as well. I used a different florist this time. I did not particularly like that they had removed the thorns from the roses. Part of the beauty of a rose is how it can be both elegant and fragrant, and yet harsh and unforgiving at the same time. I find roses to remind me of life. Your life in particular was full of more thorns than most, and for that I will always owe you._

_S.M._

Ciel reread the letter attached to the roses several times, and he could still make no sense of it. This person owed him for his life being the way it was? How could that be? Did he know about the assault, the fire, the murders? Surely it wasn't the babysitter. He was in prison after all, and his name was not S.M.

Ciel reaches for the flowers, and he hadn't really gotten a good look at them because he had been so preoccupied, but they were white roses. Thorns and all, just like the ones his parents used to grow in the front yard before their home and lives were ripped away from them.

This person knew him. He may not know who this man was, but he knew of Ciel, probably knew things about him that others didn't. Deciding to investigate further in the morning, he pulls a rose from the vase. Pure white, soft, fragrant. He ghosts his fingers over a thorn and watches in fascination when he presses a little harder and a delicate droplet of blood flows to the surface of his thumb.

Ciel shakes his head a little and pads silently to his kitchen for a glass of milk. His mother had always told him it would make him tall if he drank a lot of it. Fat lot of good that had done him. He wasn't short for lack of trying. Still, she had always meant well. Even to her last day. She had tried to protect him.

Searching for a distraction, he sees the coat lying on the sofa like some little fuzzy animal, deep in slumber. Ciel fingered the coat and observed it for clues. It would fit someone tall and slender, it was obviously high quality, being both nicely tailored and made of a thick fabric that was probably wool. Why would someone be willing to just get rid of a coat like that? Then again, this S.M was the type to waste money, spending money on hospital bills and cabs for perfect strangers. He hesitated a moment, then decided to smell the coat in the name of complete observation. He instantly regretted it, not because it smelled bad, but because whatever cologne the man wore was heady and spicy and he wanted to inhale again.

For some odd reason, he finds himself walking back to his bedroom with the heavy item, milk forgotten. Without thinking, he throws it over himself like a blanket. It's summer, and too hot to be sleeping under something other than a sheet, but when he puts the fabric over his eyes, it completely blocks out the dim light of his room. The fabric isn't scratchy like cheap wool, it is fine and heavy. The weight of it was comforting, not too heavy, but heavy enough.

Mom used to always fall asleep watching television. And dad would always pick her up and carry her up to their bed. Then he would come to Ciel, as he lay half asleep on the chair, still watching whatever happened to be on, and he would carry him off to his bed too.

The days of watching his father picking his mother up with such care, the memory of his dad putting him under the blankets and telling him goodnight seemed so terribly far away. So far away, that sometimes Ciel wonders if it was all some sort of pleasant daydream.

He pulls the coat closer, and it's stupid, because it's not a person, and he doesn't need people anyways, but he does it anyways. It has a weight and a fragrance, and a realness to it. He craves something solid for some reason. It's just a stupid coat, and he doesn't know why he's acting like this, but creature comforts are fine by him, as long as it takes the edge off.

Sometimes he thinks about a more substantial comfort. Someone to spill his secrets too, someone real to hold onto while he sleeps, but this is reality, not a romance novel. There are certain things that certain people can't have, and the moment that blasted man first put his hands on Ciel, something important was lost.

Ciel could torment himself for hours with thoughts like this, and he has before. Scolding himself for having basic human needs and emotions was his specialty. He is tired though, and whether he likes being pathetic enough to take comfort from a freaking coat is irrelevant, because despite his internal scolding, he is starting to fall asleep.

One moment of peace and comfort. One moment of feeling a little less alone. Then in the morning he would find this S.M, and teach him not to mess with the pride of the Phantomhives. If he wanted to give his coat away, well then, it was Ciel's to do with as he pleased. He could burn it for all that mattered.

He promises to be more than simple human wants, but he has a death grip on the stranger's coat. He's half ashamed and half...

Well, he doesn't know what to call the other feeling, but it's making him weak, and it needs to go.

Somewhere in his apartment are the white roses, with all their thorns and petals, and they are laughing at him.

Torn between his want for comfort and his need to hate himself, Ciel falls asleep.

AN: This chapter is long, oops lol.


	4. Chapter 4

A Breath Of Fresh Sebastian

AN: I want this story to be long and well developed. So expect lots more chapters. I plan on making this story my baby. I love writing drabbles and ones-shots a lot though, so don't be surprised if I put some up in between updates of this XD

Ciel wakes up early the next morning, and takes great care to kick the coat underneath his bed as he passes. He almost forgets about the flowers, but he spots the blooms sitting innocently on his table like they haven't done anything wrong.

He doesn't know why he replaces the water in the vase, but he's late for work and doesn't have as much time to scold himself as he would like. They were a gift after all, and if he didn't want to throw them out immediately, then who cares? Not like he liked them after all.

Ciel dreaded going into work, but he had taken a sick day while he was in the hospital, and he couldn't take another one so soon. His boss was dreadful to say the least. He was blond and relatively good looking, and seemed to think that everyone wanted him. He tended to be rather overdramatic, bursting into poetic declarations whenever he found something to be beautiful, and had already managed in getting half his workers to quit. Regrettably, Ciel needed the money. Truly he did. Food was not free and neither was rent.

No sooner was he in the door with his apron on, did the gushing start.

"My poor little Robin! Is it true you were a death's door just a few short days ago? So tragic, had you have died before you got to relive the joy of seeing this place again!"

Yes. Joy. He loved and adored working in retail.

"I'm better now." Ciel ignores his boss to the best of his ability, and starts pricing the items set to go on the shelf. He may dislike his boss, but putting things away wasn't so bad. It was even a little relaxing because it was such an easy task. It wasn't really what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, but as long as customers didn't bother him, and the blonde idiot was out of sight, he was content.

If he was going to call Druitt a blonde idiot though, he would need a different title for Alois. Although, Alois did come first, so he supposed it was his right to keep the name.

Ciel mused for a few seconds, as he put the shampoo away, but he couldn't think of anything clever enough. Perhaps they could be the Blonde Idiots one and two.

"Excuse me? I'm looking for the toothpaste."

Ciel hated having to deal with customers sometime. It was right there at eyelevel too.

"It's right… Hold on. You're that nurse who trips over everything."

"I…. yes, I suppose I am. I'm Meirin. How are you feeling?" She looks strange in casual clothing, but then again, she seemed strange in uniform too. Ciel suspected that it was more a personality thing than a wardrobe thing. Odd was just her style.

"I haven't had any attacks. Although the same man that paid for stay at the hospital paid for my inhaler too."

"That was nice of him. Although, well, aren't you worried?"

"Why would I be worried?" Ciel pauses his work, and he is surprised by how nervous the woman seems. She's even playing with the hem of her skirt like a child that got caught doing something naughty.

"Well, my boyfriend Finny works at a florist shop, you know. Says the man keeps coming in and buying flowers for you. He even had some sent to your apartment he said. Did the friend that he bought the cab for give him the address?"

"I'm not sure." Ciel admits. Alois had mentioned asking for the man's number and being denied, but he hadn't given out that sort of information, had he?

"I would ask your friend. Stalking is a scary thing, it is."

"I…. thank you. I will ask him." Ciel is surprised by this sudden warning, but he comes to his senses as the woman starts to walk away.

"Where is this shop your boyfriend works at?"

"Oh yes! It's near here actually. Pretty close to the funeral home. You won't miss it." She scoops up her basket and heads to the register.

"Thank you."

Ciel tries to concentrate on work when the woman leaves, but he can't.

_'Maybe he knows you and you just don't remember him.'_

_ "Stalking is a scary thing, yes it is."_

_ "You're life has had more thorns than most, and for that I will always owe you."_

Was this man, this S.M stalking him? He knew about the white roses that grew in front of his parent's house, but those… those had burned down! He had been sixteen when the house burned down, the roses were gone, how could he know about them if he hadn't known Ciel before then? It could be a coincidence that he had gotten white roses, when they were Ciel's favorite, but then again he had known the color of his eyes, and he had never been face to face with him before. Had he seen it on his license when he checked it?

Had this man been following him since Ciel was sixteen? Or possibly longer?

_"I will always owe you."_

The babysitter was in prison for the crimes he had committed. He and he alone had abused Ciel and killed his parents and aunt.

But Ciel had come home to a house burning. He had come home to their bodies. He didn't see the whole thing, so how could he say for sure that it was only one person that slaughtered his family and burned his house.

Had there been an accomplice?

"_I will always owe you."_

Deeply troubled, Ciel texts Alois, and gets the answer he suspects, but doesn't want. Which leaves him wondering how this man got his home address, and if this man did help with the crime, and he knew where Ciel lived, was he really trying to make amends, or was he just bidding his time? Maybe he was crazy or something, and was planning to buying Ciel's lot of pretty flowers before he came in the middle of the night and killed him.

This was sure turning out to be lovely day.

He was going to go to the floral shop after work. Maybe this Finny would be able to describe the man better.

AN: Noo! Ciel, you shouldn't think such things about your lover 3


	5. Chapter 5

A Breath Of Fresh Sebastian

AN: I've been working a lot of hours and doing a lot of cleaning, so I haven't updated until now. I sort of like being busy. It feels good to have something to do other than sit around XD

As soon as Ciel clocked out, he headed straight for the flower shop that the redhead had told him about. His car was a little worse for wear, seeing as he couldn't really afford something luxurious, but the gas mileage was decent, and he couldn't really complain. He had no trouble finding the shop, but he had trouble parking. He always did, parking was the devil.

A man with bright eyes stood behind the counter clipping the stems off of some daisies. He finishes and places them in a vase, and fiddles with one of the barrettes in his hair. He spots Ciel and greets him like they are old friends.

"Hello! It's so nice to see you, what can I get for you?" Ciel doesn't respond until he has checked the man's nametag.

"Hello, Finny. You've had a lot of business on my behalf lately."

"You have an admirer?" The man seems almost too excited by this idea. What an idiot.

"Stalker is more like it." Ciel mutters.

"Stalker? That's terrible! Wait…. You're Ciel aren't you? These are actually for you. We aren't cheap, but that's the third set of flowers this week, isn't it?" Finny hands him the vase of daisies and sunflowers, all bright yellow and white, and Ciel frowns. This arrangement is much brighter than the others he has recieved and he suddenly doubts that S.M. had truly sent it. The flowers that had matched his eyes and the white roses had all had personal meanings. What about these cheerful blooms related to him in any way?

"There's a note too. I forgot to attach it." Finny scrambles to tie it on, but Ciel stops him.

"I'll just read it as it is." He is handed the paper, and his eyes furrow as he notices how short it is compared to the others.

_Something to brighten up your week._

That explained the bright selection of flowers, he supposed.

"Is there anything you can tell me about the man who keeps buying these for me?"

"He's very tall, and he's always very polite. He always pays upfront, and he had me break a hundred dollar bill for the white roses. He said he didn't have anything smaller."

"So he's rich then. How does he dress? What does he look like?"

"You're trying to find him?" Finny asks.

"Yes."

"He's probably 6 foot, straight black hair. He looks like he's never been out in the sun. Pale fellow."

"What color are his eyes?"

"I could have sworn they were brown, but then they look red when you get a good look at them."

"He has red eyes?" Ciel had never heard of that. If he was pale, maybe he's an albino or something. But if he had black hair, then that wasn't the case. He was probably just fair skinned because he was born like that, and it he made that much money he didn't really need to labor all that hard.

"He wears pretty nice clothes, lots of button ups and suits. Lots of black. And gloves. I've never seen his hands." Finny is distacted by another customer coming in and Ciel thanks him for his time and heads out. He carries the flowers to his car and he hears a faint clink in the bottom of the vase. The vase is a solid color and he can't see anything through it, so he gently lifts the flowers out and peers into the water. There is a plastic bag, and his hands are thankfully small enough to reach for it.

Ciel opens the bag and his heart stops.

Two tiny, delicate blue stones stare back at him. His mother used to wear these earrings pretty often. He also finds a heavy silver and blue ring, one his grandfather had given his father. When he was 14 they had had a rather hard time financially. His dad had been between jobs, and they had pawned the earrings and ring in order to get the power turned back on.

How could it be that he was seeing them again? They were long gone, long sold.

On that fateful day, Ciel had not been able to look through any of the ashes for his belongings. He had lost consciousness after the assault and fire. He had quite simply just woken up in the hospital. He had never gone back to the house again, simply buying new clothes and toiletries and finding a new apartment. There were times when he wanted something to remind himself of his parents, but he had lost his chance to look, and too much time had passed. He had been sixteen before he dared tell anyone about the abuse, sixteen when his family was killed.

And yet, here were two such momentos, lying in the palm of his hand. He finally had something to hold onto, something from each of the people he missed so terribly.

_Something to brighten up your week._

Ciel slides the ring onto his finger, finding his index finger a bit too skinny, and putting it on his thumb instead. He doesn't know what to do with the earrings. Maybe he could get his ears pierced? He may be a guy, but if the guy in the flower shop could wear barrettes, then Ciel had no reason to worry about something as stupid as gender roles. He was just happy to have something of his parents.

Ciel strolls back to his car, totally unaware that he was actually smiling. He never smiled. He was also quite unaware of the nearby funeral parlor, and the two people watching him from the other side of the glass.

"He looks happy, doesn't he?" The man who says this has long gray hair, and his bangs cover his eyes. He picks at his long black nails and glances at the other man.

"He does seem pleased, yes."

The silver haired man scratches at the long scar on his face and fixes his companion with a serious look.

"You sure about this dearie? Some things can't be forgiven, no matter how many flowers we buy, and how many old trinkets we return."

"I am well aware of that."

The older man frowns.

"You hardly had much of a choice." He gestures at the man's hand, the white gloves covering a tattoo that he didn't like to talk about. Sometimes young people make poor decisions indeed. Sometimes they fall into the wrong crowd. Sebastian had made some poor decisions in his youth, and he was still paying for them. He had been 18 when he made that fateful and rebellious decision, the one that had caused Ciel so much pain. That had hardly been the intention at the time but for 12 years Sebastian had been trying to find him again. Trying to make things right. It was both admirable and pitiful.

"Biscuit?" He holds up a bone shaped cookie and Sebastian shakes his head.

"No thank you. I think I need to make more of an effort, wouldn't you agree Mr. Undertaker?"

"You're going to let him know who you are?"

"No. I'm not ready for that quite yet. But perhaps I can do more than send flowers and notes."

The man known as Undertaker smirks in amusement. This would prove to be most interesting.

AN: Sebastian is 8 years older than Ciel, making him thirty. He would have been 24 the day of the fire. Just trying to get my timeline all set up, because the timeline shall be important and shit XD


	6. Chapter 6

A Breath Of Fresh Sebastian

AN: I didn't update for a bit there, I'm sorry. Also cue the flashback chapter! Flashbacks are glorious.

"So, I guess this is it."

"Well, it's been…. Hell, I don't know what you want me to say kid. I did my best. Please don't tell anyone that I was the one that raised you."

"I'm not going to brag about being raised by white trash."

"Listen to you! I didn't have to take you in, you little bastard! Didn't have to feed you, and clothe ya…"

"You wouldn't have survived without the check they sent you to take care of me. How much of that money actually went to my upbringing? I'm sure a percentage went to your lovely little habit. How anyone can smoke that much grass and still be an uptight asshole, I will never know."

Leaving the woman that had raised him sputtering in anger, he made his way into the dusty streets of the trailer park in search of greener pastures. Knowing he would never see her again should not have been satisfying. It shouldn't have made him laugh at loud at the feeling of being free, but today was Sebastian's eighteenth birthday, and he was legal. He didn't need to stay in that trailer with his pot head foster mother, didn't need to go to school anymore. He did miss the truancy officer a bit. They had become rather close over these last few years. He smirked at the thought. Poor William always got so worked up.

Sebastian wasn't stupid, he was actually a very intelligent person. He simply had no desire to sit in a classroom and have his mind molded. That wasn't intelligence, it was blind allegiance. Going out and really seeing the world, really tasting it was where you really learned anything.

And here he was, out to taste the world.

He didn't have a place to stay. Or a job. That was really the only problem. He had some money that he had borrowed from friends. By friends he meant people he didn't know and by borrowed, he meant took from their wallets without their consent or knowledge.

Pickpocketing was very easy. He examined his newest trophy, a little Hello Kitty wallet he had procured the day before and laughed. She had tried to run after him and she had stopped to catch her breath after a block. Sebastian was just that fast, although his victims never seemed to notice their wallets missing until he was long gone.

She really should have called the cops, since she had gotten a good look on his face, but maybe she was just stupid.

He used to dislike living this way. He had started stealing at around 13, a year before he got taken by child services. His mother had been too sick in the head to really provide for him, and stealing was how he ate. His real father was hardly able to help him out financially, because the stupid woman didn't know who he was. Probably too high to remember having sex in the first place, heroin had always been her first and only love. She and Sebastian had lived in England for the majority of his childhood, but after she overdosed, he had come here to live with his grandparents, who were so old that they ended up dying before he got off of the plane.

Still, even through foster care, nobody seemed to have much money to spare for Sebastian. He was always left to fend for himself, and that suited him just fine. He felt like a walking oxymoron. Such a proper sounding name for the son of a whore. Maybe she thought that if she named him something like Sebastian that he would turn out respectable somehow.

In any case, thievery no longer felt wrong to him. It didn't really feel like survival either. It was just how he lived his life.

He frowned as he counted the money. The women he had taken the wallet from had been reasonably dressed, but there was really only enough in here for a night at a motel and a hot meal at best. She had looked like she would have more.

The forecast called for clear weather tonight and rain tomorrow, so Sebastian elected to use the money for the room the next night, and to simply sleep somewhere else tonight. He didn't have a car and he didn't really have any friends. He didn't like people on the principle that they were pathetic, so staying with someone was out of the question.

There was an old abandoned church down the road that nobody went to anymore. He could get a few hours sleep and be on his merry way.

The door creaks open louder than he anticipates and he frowns. Way to be inconspicuous.

"Who are you? Who said you could come here?"

"An outsider!"

"Snuff out the unclean. Snuff out the unnecessary."

Young Sebastian should have been more cautious about his accidental discovery of a cult, but he wasn't. He was 18, he was free. He wanted to taste the world, and here he found anarchy and abnormality. It was about as tasty as it gets. The room was dirty, dusty, and they had candles everywhere. They even had an altar with blood stains on it. Did they sacrifice pigs on it? These people were quite peculiar. He really ought to leave, but something drew him to this strange place. He was so very tired of being ordinary and the quite allure of danger could not be denied.

"Will you be one of our brothers? Or must we cast you out for trespassing?"

He could kill some time here, see some interesting things. He was bored, he was homeless, he was curious. What was there possibly left to lose?

A few days go by, and he learns that it's nice to have a place to sleep out of the rain.

A week goes by, and he is fascinated by their odd rituals and ways of life.

A month. A year.

Two years in, he isn't quite sure about the whole "unclean" ordeal, but he like the idea of summoning a demon for power. He finds a particularly fat wallet and he blows it on a pentagram tattoo. He never imagines that looking at the marked hand will cause him shame in the future.

Three years with them, and he feels accepted. Loved even, by these people who create a sense of community that as a lonely child and neglected teenager he had never felt before. He is compelled to stay a fourth year, and a fifth. He ignores the gruesome animal sacrifices on the altar, the scary séances, and silences the ever growing impression that something here is very wrong.

Because he wants more than anything to taste the world.

It isn't until his sixth year of membership that he realizes how far in deep he is. He had fallen down the rabbit hole of this gang, and there is no turning back. Not for him, not for Ciel Phantomhive.

The Undertaker was right. Trinkets and roses weren't enough, neither was paying for his hospital bills. Ciel needed to know the truth about Sebastian and the terrible cult that had more or less chewed them both up and spit them back out, much like an owl coughing up bones after eating a mouse.

It was time for them to meet. He didn't know what to expect as far as reactions go, but it was time to stop being so cautious. His hands were steady as he dialed the numbers on his cell phone, something he mentally congratulated himself for.

"Hello?" Sebastian felt like groaning at the chipper tone, but he pressed on.

"It's time."

"Do you have to be so damn cryptic all the time?" The speaker was always ever so whiny. It was truly annoying.

"I need to meet Ciel. I can't just send flowers anymore."

"I tried setting you guys up. Do you know how hard it was to get that bastard to go to the club with me? No, way jackass, you figure this one out."

"You are a fool. You took the inhaler from his pocket, didn't you? You weren't even tipsy when I saw you, much less intoxicated. You set the whole thing up, you could have gotten him killed!"

"What can I say? I knew you'd help him. Still, that's what you want in this whole thing, right? To play the hero?" Sebastian can hear the boy snickering, and he resists the urge to curse at him. He is the source of his information after all, and if he's going to get a hold of Ciel, he needs to be on this idiot's good side.

Although the way he spoke now made him seem like he was a little too smart for his own good.

"Look, I know you wanted to just see him casually and talk to him, see if he was doing okay, but I was hoping that if we put him in some danger and you got him out of it, he'd remember the last time you saved him."

"I don't want him to remember, and for that matter, I don't want to remember either. In any case, he was unconscious anyways. I doubt he'll ever recall what happened, unless someone informs him." Sebastian doesn't want to remember the first time he laid eyes on the boy. It made him think about how much he had failed, how far he has fallen.

"You really want to see him? I can arrange that, but it's gotta be good for me too."

"As always, Alois, you have my gratitude."

AN: I'll update sooner next time, promise.


	7. Chapter 7

A Breath Of Fresh Sebastian

AN: I apologize for not updating faster. My life kind of kicked me in the shins, and then when I felt better I discovered Free and Attack On Titan, and they both kind of ate my brain because they're awesome like that. *Has a ridiculous girl crash on Mikasa*

"I'm terribly sorry, darling, but we're booked solid for the next two months."

Grell sat primly on the desk, not on the chair of course, but on the damn desk for crying out loud, and examined his fingernails while the man on the line grumbled about his need for a table.

"Well, if you were planning to propose at a place like this, you should have booked earlier. Are you sure you're with the right person? Surely, if you can't take the time to reserve a table in advance, you aren't that excited to pop the question now, are you?"

Another bout of grumbling.

"Ah, so there is trouble in paradise. Tell me more. "

"Grell."

"Hello! Bassy! I was just…."

"Gossiping with a client, yes. Please tell him that we can reserve something at a later date, and kindly stop chattering about."

"Right then, Bassy! I will do what you want at once! I mean I'd do whatever you ask, anything at all!"

Sebastian resists the urge to strike his suggestive receptionist. He had hired Grell to help people make reservations at the restaurant because he was so friendly, but typically once he got off the phone, he knew about the person's childhood, sex life, and generally everything else there was to know.

Damn gossip, wasting valuable time.

Still, it was a dream of his to have a successful restaurant, and here it was. He had just gotten out of the… association, and he had wanted to do something with his life. Something decent. He was tired of being poor and low. So he had wandered about looking for affordable trade schools, and he stumbled into the culinary arts. He couldn't just cook, he was an artist with food. He could make anything, and he was fairly pleased with the small fortune he had gained through doing something that he actually liked.

He is anxious today, so anxious that he nearly burns the dish he is preparing. It's totally inexcusable, to be as famous a chef as he is, and to do such a thing, but he cannot help the pit that is forming in his chest.

Today he was going to tell Ciel. Everything.

Ciel was folding his laundry when Alois bursted into his room. He opens his mouth to tell the idiot that he could knock, but the comment dies on his tongue, because honestly, he's given up on the illusion of privacy when Alois is around.

"I'm sooooooo bored."

"What are you, a child? Go play by yourself, like a good little boy. It's not my job to entertain you."

"So, you're saying I should play with myself?"

"Play BY yourself." Ciel folds a pair of jeans with unnecessary force, and then feels stupid because he just hangs them anyways, and he grimaces when Alois starts poking around his room.

"I bet you have porn here somewhere."

"Like what? Magazines under the bed? People have these things called laptops now, you dolt."

Alois gasps in mock horror. "You mean Ciel has a naked lady folder? Oh sorry, a naked man folder?"

"Get out! Now!"

"No, I'm bored, I want to explore."

"Why don't you explore outside! In the middle of the freeway."

"Now, now Ciel, that's not nice. You wound me. Hmmm? And what is this?"

He holds up S.M's jacket, which had been shoved cruelly under the bed.

"A jacket. What does it look like?" Internally, Ciel is panicking. Was it really that strange that he still had it? He had admittedly slept with it a few times, although the scent was wearing off, but he only did that after a really bad day.

He had a lot of really bad days to be perfectly honest.

"You know, this is a really expensive coat. Are you sure he doesn't want it back?"

"You're the one who told me that he said you could keep it." Ciel shot back.

"For me to keep. Not for you to fap off to."

"What?! I'd never….."

"Anyways, I bet we could call that flower place that he keeps going to for you. They might have his number on record or something."

"How'd you know about the flowers?"

"I read your mail."

"That's illegal!"

"Yes." Alois agrees. "Let me call them." He darts into the other room, dials and speaks in an undertone.

"Bassy's fine dining, care to reserve a table?"

"It's me, Grell. The peanut butter is in the jar, I repeat the peanut butter is in the jar."

"That's not what we agreed on for the code."

"I don't feel entirely comfortable with what you wanted me to say originally. And I don't get embarrassed easily, so that's saying something. Just come and get the damn coat. I put Ciel's work address in the pocket. You remember the plan right?"

"Yes, yes, I get the coat, say Bassy was too busy to get it himself. I give him the address, he goes to see Ciel at work… blah blah blah. I mean, can't you just invite him over there if he wants to spill his guts?"

"No. Because if Ciel's going to get pissed off, he'll feel more empowered if it's in his own territory. His work place is somewhat more neutral." Alois sighs, because he's already explained this all to Grell.

"I think Bassy's just scared. He wants more time to mentally prepare himself. On a scale of one to ten, how mad is this little bastard going to be when he finds out Sebby's involvement?"

"375."

"Oh don't exaggerate now, Alois. It's ever so annoying."

"You telling me not to exaggerate? Lord, what is the world coming too. Just get your ass here." Alois hangs up and struts into Ciel's room.

"Your boyfriend will be here in ten minutes. Best powder your nose and shave your fun parts."

"I will kill you! You know that right!" Ciel tries to chase Alois as the blonde flees, but his chest tightens, and he curses his body.

Damn asthma, damn S.M. and damn Alois insinuating things about Ciel's sexuality all the time!

Ciel goes into the tiny bathroom and scrubs his face, and is so caught up in his mood, that the knock on the door seems to come too soon. He gets to it before Alois does.

"Well, hello! You're the little runt, my Bassy saved aren't you? He's a wonderful man like that, but don't get any ideas, I'm afraid he's taken."

"You!" Ciel looks the man (woman?) up and down and then lifts a finger up to point accusingly at the person in the doorway.

"You broke my inhaler, you stupid tranny!"

"Now, that's not very nice, now is it?" Ciel watches in horror as the man casually struts into the apartment and picks up the coat, pulls it to his nose and inhales.

"Bassy always smells good, but he never lets me get close enough to him for me to enjoy it."

"I…. But you two are together, you just said..." Ciel sputters.

"Oh, he's a shy fox. Likes to pretend he doesn't love me deeply, like I love him, jokes about restraining orders. But he's mine, he'll see that soon enough!"

"Ah, so you're a stalker then?" Ciel feels like laughing when the redheaded man sputters comically at this statement. His every move and gesture is completely over the top.

"No! I'm his boyfriend! He just doesn't know it yet!"

Alois steps in at that moment.

"Now, now ladies, let's not get carried away." He tries not to laugh at Ciel's anger (Grell seems to be perfectly content to be addressed that way) but he fails and giggles.

Does Ciel know how wonderful he is to tease? Probably not. Grell takes the coat and waves airily, like a pageant queen, and walks to the door.

"Wait!"

"Yes? What is it brat?" Ciel glares at the insult and presses on.

"Why did your friend, I mean boyfriend help me? You said it was Bass? Bassy or something? Why would he send you to pick up the coat instead of getting it himself? Why would he pay for my medicine and…"

"Sebastian is hard to read, little boy. That's what makes him so wonderful!"

A few hours later, Sebastian stands at a precipice. He is off of his shift, the restaurant is left in Grell's care until closing (such a frightening thought) and here he is, with the coat on his back, and the address of Ciel's workplace in his gloved hand.

He had already checked twice to make sure it's correct. It is. He can even see Ciel stocking a shelf on one of the aisles from outside.

He steps forward, and the automatic door opens, and he stops.

Can he do this?

How can you tell someone that it's your fault that their parents are dead?

"Can I help you sir?"

The lady at the nearest cash register has spotted him standing there, waiting to go in the open doors, and she's eying the trench coat with a small amount of caution.

He must look like a serial killer or something. She probably thinks he has a gun under his coat.

"No."

"Well, you're letting the air out. Come in."

"I… no, thank you. I think I'll take my leave."

She gives him a funny look and Sebastian walks away from the store, away from Ciel, with as much dignity as he can muster.

He thought he was braver than this. In the end, it's not a fear of Ciel's anger, but a fear of presenting his sins and flaws to another person. He is meticulous in cleaning, in cooking, in his appearance. He likes to speak eloquently and charmingly, and somehow admitting that he did something wrong is just so unlike him that he knows that he can't do it. Not tonight anyways.

It's starting to rain and he has no umbrella. He pulls the coat tighter, letting his face rest in the collar, and he frowns, because it does not smell familiar.

This is not his own smell. The cologne that Sebastian wears still lingers a bit, but mostly it smells like skin. Warm, smooth, freshly showered skin, and it while it's not even faintly floral, white roses come to mind.

Ciel.

The walk home is fast and by the time he gets home, he is drenched to the bone. He walks by his cat, who meows in welcome, and he is so lost in thought that he doesn't pet her, which is very strange for him indeed. He strips off his shirt and shucks off his pants and socks, and flops down, very Un-Sebastian like, onto his mattress, the coat in his hand coming up to cover him like a make shift blanket.

"Hello there. I'm Sebastian Michealis. I own a restaurant, I could have saved your parents and Aunt's lives, and I was once friends with the man who raped you. Also I like that my coat smells like you now. It's nice to meet you."

He smirks, then chuckles and then outright laughs.

"I suppose that I'll have to come up with something better than that when we do meet."

The cat has wandered in and is giving him a curious look.

Oh dear lord he was lying almost naked on his bed, talking to himself.

"Oh my goodness I've finally done it. I'm mad, I tell you, mad. What the bloody hell am I even doing?"

"Meow?"


	8. Chapter 8

A Breath Of Fresh Sebastian

AN: Thanks for reviewing you guys! I'm planning evil plot twists ahead, so don't get too comfortable.

It had been about a week since Sebastian had elected not to go and see Ciel at work. Alois called it 'chickening out' but Sebastian was inclined to disagree. He was Sebastian Michaelis, he wasn't afraid of anything, much less talking to a boy who was 8 years his junior, and half his size.

What would he say if he did decide to tell Ciel who he was? He had ruined the boy's life, he had done something so unforgivable.

He had not been the one who violated him.

He had not killed his family.

He had not burned down the house.

But what he had done was so unforgivable that he simply couldn't speak it.

Displeased with the direction his thoughts were going, Sebastian petted the black cat currently sitting on his lap. He should have been comfortable, resting in his armchair and cat in lap, but he was not. He was filled with guilt and anger, and he could do nothing.

The cat meows mournfully at him.

"Are you hungry?" He scratched tenderly under its chin and delights in the resulting purr.

"Let's find you something, hmmm?" He gets up and searches the cupboards. There is no cat food, although he could have sworn that he had just bought some.

Remembering that he had given some to a stray (a terrible habit of his) he frowns before remembering that he has chicken in the fridge.

The chicken when presented to the cat, is promptly rejected. Highly insulted at the slight to his cooking, Sebastian grabs his wallet, and heads out the door. If the brat wanted Fancy Feast over real meat, then so be it.

The store near his house is closed due to the late hour, and Sebastian frowns at the sign on the window. He could go to the other store nearby, but the prices are terrible. He may love his cats, but he's not about to buy a can of what is supposedly meat for them for more than he has to. That leaves…. Well it leaves THAT store, and he had already decided that he isn't ready to see Ciel again. That being said he may not even be working, and he's never even seen Sebastian, so maybe he can just go in quickly and get the hell of of there before he's noticed. Confident with his decision, he quickly makes his way to the store.

He puts several cans in a basket, turns around to pay for them, and almost knocks the wind out of the shorter man coming through the aisle with a box in hand.

"My apologies. Please don't let me interrupt your work."

Wait.

Sebastian isn't one to be surprised easily, but this, this right here is surprising.

One blue one, one violet, both blinking furiously at him, as though trying to put something together.

"You sound familiar. Have we met before?"

"No. We have not. I really must be going." He just wants to buy his bloody cat food, and get the hell out of here. He had saved his life, paid his hospital bills, it was good right? He didn't need the boy knowing who he was. To his horror, Ciel's eyes light up in a triumphant sort of outrage, the kind where you have caught someone in a lie.

"I know who you are! You're the pickpocket who called the ambulance! I knew, I had heard your voice before!"

"I took nothing that belonged to you!" Sebastian is outraged by such a claim, but Ciel just looks like the cat that ate the canary. It is then he realizes his slip. He had revealed himself by his last statement, and now he is damned.

"So you don't deny calling the ambulance? You're S.M! I've been meaning to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind. Like why the hell did you pay my bills! And all the flowers, just what kind of shit are you trying to pull?"

He is too passionate, too outraged, too curious, and Sebastian knows that whether he wants to spill his guts or not, he is going to have to give a few answers just to tide him over. It is both disturbing and funny to observe the authority this short little man has over him.

"Forgive my manners. I am Sebastian Michaelis, it's a pleasure. Forgive me, but I don't have time to answer your questions tonight. I must get back home soon to give these to…"

"You're not going anywhere! Your damn cat can wait!"

"She cannot. I assure you I will come back in the morning with some answers. Now if you please."

He watched transfixed as Ciel throws his apron off and starts heading to the door.

"I'm taking my lunch now!" He shouts to his boss, before giving Sebastian a dirty and expecting look.

"I will come back with you, you feed the cat, you tell me what I want to know. Besides it's only fair I know where you live too."

"I…. I haven't purchased the cat food yet…. Just let me get in line."

"Better hurry up. Or I'll feed you to the cat." The boy's venom would be more effective if he wasn't so short. Honestly though, he was unpleasant and demanding.

That stupid cat just had to refuse the chicken.

Ciel paces up and down and keeps shooting rather furious looks at Sebastian, who is trying to think of the best way to explain what is going on. He elects to explain as simply as possible.

"I have been avoiding you. Please forgive me."

"Avoiding me? I don't even know you."

"Please. Don't you remember anything?"

"No! Would you just tell me what's going on, and we can get on with this?"

Sebastian sighs and sits down in one of his armchairs.

"Your mind is trying desperately to make sense of all this information. You have made a new story for yourself, and you can't even get that straight. Honestly."

"Then tell me! Stop talking in circles and tell me what I need to know!"

"You already know the story don't you? You were abused sexually by your babysitter, who was in a religious cult, your aunt and parents were killed by the man because you told them of it. They even burned down your house. They killed your dog."

"And why do you know this?" Ciel refuses to sit even as Sebastian gestures for him to, and he continues his furious pacing.

"I was there. I could have prevented it. I was a member of that cult."

He is surprised to see the boy speechless. The first slap is just as hard as he expects it to be, the second and third are less so, probably because the shock has sunk in.

"Are you…" Ciel pauses his abuse to speak thoughtfully. "Did you carry me out of there? I….. I almost remember. But…"

"Yes. Ciel. I was but a lonely foster child, and I joined a gang, and I could have prevented everything. So I saved you. Now I am working towards repentance."

Hearing the answers should be a relief, but it's not. Sebastian's answers seem so deadfully rehearsed. Like a lie.

He wasn't supposed to lie.

"You can't lie to me."

Sebastian looks surprised and he sighs again, heavily, painfully.

"We were going to give you the simplest answer. We tried to create a new life that was somewhat parallel to the real truth, to make the transition easier, but forgive me. The lie is more confusing than we thought, and I dislike lying to you anyways."

"What?" Ciel finally sits down and Sebastian bends down so they are eye level.

"I shouldn't be able to lie to you. But it's true. I did something unforgivable. I broke it."

"Broke what?"

"We had a deal, a contract if you will. A very long time ago. I was so selfish though Ciel. I changed the deal. I did not want to carry the contract out. I wanted you to be with me forever. Through every century. Through all my unlimited years, I wanted you by my side, but every year that you were reborn, you remembered less and less, until you didn't know me at all."

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you crazy or something?"

"No. I am simply one hell of a butler."

AN: If you're slightly confused the plot twist worked.


End file.
